On Mother's Day 1983

From my first book written in Swedish

As a little girl, I constantly begged, "Mami, tell me another story."

You were tired after a long day's work, yet you sat by my bed and told me another, and yet another story. I wanted to know what it was like when you were a child growing up in Finland. I had no memories from the land of my birth, so your stories fed my imagination. I do not remember every word, but some endure. I had a picture on the wall beside my bed, which reflected your story. A little girl walked with a lantern through a dark forest. She did not know how she would find her way home, but she had a lantern and an angel.

You did not tell the stories in your mother tongue, Swedish, as I did not understand it. You had to share your memories in English. You had too many things to do, so you did not have time to teach us your language. You taught us things that were far more important. You were worried that we would feel rootless in this world since you had answered 'yes' to the call you received from God. You were not so 'spiritual' that you thought it would be enough if our roots grew in the knowledge of God's love. You knew very well that we also need human roots. The only thing you could do was to teach us to know your own family: our Grandma and Grandpa, our uncle, and our aunts. They were also important to you. You also needed roots, even though you were deeply rooted in God. You always told us what they wrote in their letters and wrote to them about what happened to us, what we did, and what we said. They knew what to pray for - when we were traveling, or when we were sick, or when you did not know how to solve problems about our schooling.

Many of your childhood questions had never received an answer. You grew up with your grandmother and grandfather, and you were loved. Still, the nagging, unspoken question was, "Why did I not live with my parents?" Nobody knew your thoughts, so no one gave you an answer. Your struggle was silent. "What is wrong with me? Why don't they want to have me?" You sometimes thought you were forgotten, until you had your first child. Then you understood your mother's greeting in each letter: "My dear unforgettable child," a reality. Can a woman ever forget her child? You knew that she could never do it. Your relationship with your parents grew closer the further away you traveled from home.

When we asked - and our questions were many – you had learned that answers were important. You gave us answers - you knew. Even to the mysteries, you replied with God's Word. "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. Deuteronomy 29:29. Your life was a testimony of the blessing that follows those who "follow all the words of this Law." You were not "under the law" - God's promises paved your path.

You gave us roots

Your family became our family. We learned to know what Grandpa did, what he said, that he was humorous, and told jokes. He built a house for his family in Oulunkylä, Helsinki, and planted a spruce fence around it. Grandpa was tarring the roof the day you arrived from China in June 1939. He almost fell off the top in surprise, as your arrival was uncertain. He also kept the spruce fence so well trimmed that even the neighbors asked for his help to cut theirs. He did all that despite his Rheumatoid Arthritis. He held his job as a switchman on the railway until his normal pension age.

Grandma, our grandma, made the best cardamom buns in the world. That's what you used to say when your efforts at baking in an aluminum kettle fell flat. You said that when we get to Finland, we can taste Grandma's buns and cakes and all the excellent food…

You were worried about your brother, Elis, who had not yet accepted Salvation. You taught us to pray for him every day. He was a ship's engineer, mostly away from home. Many years later, our prayers were answered. He followed our Aunt Ellen Verna and Grandpa to heaven and waits for us there.

Your younger sisters became our friends. Elna had been sickly all her life, and yet she was willing to serve others. Your little sister Göta Linnea shared with us what happened at home: "Now we have sown the potatoes; now the apple tree is blooming. Grandma is blind in one eye…" She faithfully continued writing news even when all the other family members were ill, tired, blind, and gone.

The price of postage rose and rose, but still, you wrote often. You asked your family to save your letters, "In case we come home alive, maybe the children might want to know what it was like when they were small." Every note was saved. In those letters, you describe journeys, experiences of both trials, and joys. When the problems seemed overwhelming, God showed His greatness. When your purse was empty, He was even richer. In your lonesome hours, His love became more real.

The seed

Years ago, when I was with you on the Gospel Ship Ebeneser in Kayts, Ceylon, we often sat together watching the glowing sunset. Maybe you saw a glimpse of angels calling you home. Perhaps you saw your loved ones who had gone before waving their encouragement to you to carry on. You wanted to join them. You were tired. Maybe soon, very soon, you will be there.

I wanted to ask you many more questions about the past, but you were too tired to answer. Some memories were still far too painful to be put into words. You said, "All my old letters are with Göta. In them, you can read what it was like in the beginning."

The seed had been sown, the source of this book, a book about God's dealings in your life. In heaven, there is another book which is far more accurate. It is recorded in the presence of God Himself. "Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored his name. 'On the day when I act,' says the Lord Almighty, 'they will be my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as a father has compassion and spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.'" Malachi 3:16-18

You are His treasured possession.

When you heard I planned to write this book, you said, "There is nothing to write about me. I have not accomplished anything." When you understood that I would write it anyway, you said, "If you write, remember that everything must go through three gates: 'Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?' Then you added, 'it is not necessary.' I insisted that it certainly is necessary! Now I have read your letters. There is so much in them that I would love to share, but time and space are limited.

When I was young and worried about my future, I saw everything in black and white. You tried to teach me, as always, from the Bible. Paul's letter to the Philippians was just one example of many. "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7) TLB. You gave me a checklist from the following verse on controlling my thoughts.

Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right.

Think about pure and lovely things, and dwell on the fine, good things in others.

Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.

As I read through the list, my eyes fell on the words: "Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you." You could have written those words yourself! You lived your life putting into practice what you read. You learned not only to read and teach the Word, but you lived it. "…for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation, whether it be a full stomach or hunger, plenty or want; for I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power."

Philippians 4:11-13 TLB

Maybe you sometimes forgot - or didn't dare to trust the promise in Psalms 103:3 as the old 1917 version of the Swedish Bible says: "… han helar alla dina brister." "…He heals all your flaws." You were often far too aware of your weaknesses and flaws. When you thought you were useless, God worked out His plan in and through you.

"With this hope you can be happy even if you need to have sorrow and all kinds of tests for awhile. These tests have come to prove your faith and to show that it is good. Gold, which can be destroyed, is tested by fire." 1 Peter 1:6-7. Your faith has been tested and is far more valuable than gold. Your example has given your children strength when they have met trials in life. If Mami went through such a problem with God's help, why can't we trust him?

You also gave us roots in your God. Your God is our God, who can guide us even as He led you. When you cross the River over to the other side, greet all who went before you, we are coming too! When the books are opened there, it will be exciting to see how God did far more than we could imagine - even through our failures and flaws! "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness… in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:26-28 NIV